


Third Person

by Nagisa4ever



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-10-02 21:14:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10227518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nagisa4ever/pseuds/Nagisa4ever
Summary: When Castiel was younger, his brothers would beat him. They would make him talk about himself as if he weren’t there, and because of it he has a hard time speaking out loud in anything other than third person. Insert Dean, a boy who seems as if he is a gift given by God, though it soon becomes apparent that he is anything but. Their journey together begins the middle of their senior year.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Main Pairing: Destiel
> 
> Warnings: Mentions of rape, rape, cursing, sexual intercourse, abuse, mentions of child abuse, neglect
> 
> No Beta
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural
> 
> I will update this whenever. I am in college so bear with me.
> 
> Commentary: This story will be told from the POV of Castiel and only Castiel. What you think of Dean you will have to see through Castiel’s view.

 CHAPTER 1

I curled into myself, wrapping the cover tighter around my body. Had Gabriel been here, he’d scream at me to get my act together. Not let what Lucifer and Michael said get to me, but he was gone on a trip with his friends from his university. I couldn’t help it. They were always so mean, saying rude uncouth things to me like I wasn’t their youngest sibling. As if I had no right to reside under the same roof as them.

It had always been this way.

Throwing the cover to my side, I easily slide out of my bed, giving up on going to sleep after having had another nightmare about the brother’s I wished Dad never had. My eyes fall to the floor and I never know how I get in these moods but I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. I sit down and hug my knees close to my chest, barely noticing Lucifer’s AC/DC shirt riding up my bare thighs. I start to hum a tuneless melody, before stopping, laying my head in between my knees.

“Cassie don’t like it here....”

The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them and I struggle to keep my tears at bay. I don’t like to cry. Michael says the only people who cry are pussies. I know Gabriel tells me he’s not right, but I know he is. The last thing I want to be is the female reproductive organ. Next to me, my alarm blares and it occurs to me that it is time to get ready for school. The second semester had only just started on Monday and with it only being Tuesday, it seemed I had a long week to go.

Detangling myself from a sudden bout of depression, I cut off my alarm clock, heading quickly for the bathroom. The quicker I got ready, the faster I could leave without having a sudden run-in with my eldest brothers.

* * *

 My headband hurts but it keeps my hair from falling into my face. It had been a while since I had a haircut and until Gabriel got back, I knew I wouldn’t be getting one. Michael believes money shouldn’t be spent on people who deserve less than the dirt beneath his shoes. Of course, I believe him.

“Hey, Clarence.” I turn around, nodding briefly at Meg who smiles in a weird sort of way. I would say she was sad but why would she be smiling? Kevin and Charlie flank her sides as they walk closer to me. I would call them my friends but if memory serves right, Lucifer said no one would ever really want to be my friend, so I patiently wait for the day they leave me.

“Did you sleep well? You look tired.” Charlie comments as she takes my hand in her’s. It feels nice, oddly. “Castiel had a nightmare. He didn’t get too much sleep.” I say and I wish I could shake this habit of sounding so dumb but somehow my mind refuses to work with my tongue. Instead of answering me, Charlie rubs the back of my hand and sends me what I think is a smile of encouragement, or at least that’s what Kevin calls them.

The halls are somewhat empty, seeing as we are at school the earliest we are allowed to be, which is 6:00am. They come here early because I do, even though they could stay in bed until at least 7:30am because school didn’t start until 8:00am. I appreciate their false effort. Upon entering our first period, we find it empty, as it usually is, and sit in the back. I liked sitting in the back because every time I sat in the front, I had the irrational fear that as I soon as I turned everyone would be gone.

I didn’t want everyone to disappear.   

Nobody really liked me because I talk weird but I didn’t want to be alone. I hate being alone. My hands finger the scarf Meg had gotten me for Christmas in nervousness. School was always an awkward affair for me. I still had to work myself up to being prepared for it, despite it being my last year. We spend the next two hours conversing, sometimes lapsing into comfortable silence when we had run out of words to bring to the table. It is during one of these lapses when the classroom door is opened, maybe five minutes before the teacher will arrive, and a boy walks in, blending perfectly with the large amounts of students in the class.

He pays no one mind as people gaze at him from all corners of the room, though the noise level has yet to drop. Sauntering his way to the back as if he was born to look like a beauty sent from God. He sits close to our group, though he doesn’t talk to us. He takes his phone out of his pocket to text. I can’t seem tear my eyes off of him, and neither can half the room. Of course my ‘friends’ notice and they leer and jab at me, but I pay them no mind.

That’s the first time I saw Dean Winchester.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2 

The second time I saw Dean Winchester, I had just stumbled out of the third floor restroom during fifth block. Lunch hadn’t settled right in my belly and I had spent most of fifth emptying my stomach contents into the toilet. It hit me as strange, how he was already skipping on his first day. He was sitting on the floor in front of a row of lockers with his head facing upwards and his eyes closed. He looked serene, comfortable. It was a feeling I, myself, had never had the pleasure of experiencing.

I turned away from him to go to class when his voice rang out in the quiet hallway. I will never forget the way his voice sounded. It was a deep, guttural, sound that felt as if his voice was rubbing against my skin and it occurs to me that perhaps he had been asleep. Goosebumps erupted all over my person and I sucked in a sharp intake of breath as I turned to face him.

“Hey.” He repeats and my reaction is almost instantaneous. My face is red, I know because I can feel the warmth up to the tips of my ears. “Hello.” I say back, moving my left thumb back and forth as my arm rested by my side. Dean doesn’t say anything else as he gestures to the floor beside him. I hesitate a moment, knowing more than anyone how dirty these halls are, before feeling my feet move on their own in his direction.

Pressing my back to the lockers, I slowly slide down until my butt touches to floor and I’m shoulder to shoulder with him. He rests his head on the lockers again before looking at me through half-lidded eyes. “Dean Winchester.” He mutters and continues looking at me, I'm guessing for a response. I bite my lip before answering. “Castiel Novak.” The hall remains quiet after that as Dean simply nods, slyly slinging his arm around me and I barely manage to keep the flinch away that screamed to jump from me as Dean pulls me closer to his body.

Awkward as it is, I can’t stop my body from relaxing in his grip as I let my hands rest in my lap. It feels strange, being this close to someone who isn’t Gabriel. When the bell rings roughly twenty minutes later, I almost reluctantly pull away as Dean stands, extending his hand to help me up. I stand on my own without taking his offer. He shrugs and turns as if he is about to go to his last period before talking. “What’s your next class, Cas?” He says in a loud voice, seeing as the halls are crowded and loud.

I hesitate a long time before answering, gripping my thumb so that it doesn’t move. He’s going to think I'm dumb.

Just like everyone else.

“Castiel has history with Mr. Crowley.” I say in the loudest voice I can muster, which isn’t very loud. It has always been kind of low. Dean’s brow furrows a bit and I assume he is about to say something nasty when he grabs my arm, pulling me just close enough for him to comfortably wrap an arm around my waist.  “So, do I. Show me the way, I am new after all.” He whispers, his lips brushing softly past my earlobe. I gulp down the saliva that had quickly accumulated inside my mouth before nodding, slipping out of his grasp and turning the opposite way.

“Follow Castiel. History is on the second floor.” Not waiting for a response I begin to walk towards the steps. I assume Dean is following me because of the breath I feel on the back of my neck. He seems to like being close to me. It’s weird, uncomfortable even, but I don’t say anything. It doesn’t take more than two minutes to get to Mr. Crowley’s. Ducking to the back, I sit next to Kevin who had this atrocious class with me. Dean sits in the chair on my right, slinging his arm on the back of my seat and throwing his feet on the desk, taking out his phone to play on. Kevin notices of course pulling me in so that we could have a ‘private discussion’.

Rolling my eyes, I decide to play along. “What’s going on with you and the new guy?” He whispers and I shrug a little. “Castiel saw him upstairs and Dean called Castiel to sit with him until sixth block. That’s all.” Kevin rises an eyebrow at me but doesn’t say anything else as he sits back in his chair. I do the same, just as Mr. Crowley, the Devil incarnate himself, walks into the room. His eyes immediately zero in on Dean, or more specifically, his feet and arm. If there was one person who hated me more than anyone else inside this school, it would be Crowley. I had asked Gabriel about it once and he had said it was probably because our mom had turned him down back in high school.

Seeing someone being friendly with me always set him off, Kevin can attest to that, so it really wasn’t a surprise that he hated Dean. “Excuse me boy, but I would like it if you took your feet off of that table.” Dean grumbled but did as told. I'm guessing since Dean and I weren’t necessarily close, he didn’t say anything about his arm. That being said, I had sensed the blowup long before it happened. Dean had slowly pulled my chair closer to him until he couldn’t move it anymore and had tugged my legs until I allowed him to place them over his thighs.

Soon he got bored with just sitting there and he began playing in my hair and peppering kisses over my face, whispering dirty words in my ear just to see me squirm. It was an odd mix of awkward and comfort I resided in until Mr. Crowley had finally had enough. He slammed down the history book he was reading from, turning a fierce glare to Dean who hadn’t stopped whispering in my ear. I pushed him away softly, noticing the looks from the rest of the students who had turned to see what Mr. Crowley was looking at.

I tried to pull my legs from him, but suffice to say, Dean didn’t let me. “Dean, I would appreciate it if you would stop fraternizing with Mr. Novak during the middle of my lesson.” Dean chuckles at the disdain he hears in in Mr. Crowley’s voice, facing him with a look of contempt in his hazel green eyes. “I don’t think I will, sir.” Dean must not have seen who he was talking to because I was practically pooping my pants when Mr. Crowley turned his glare towards me. “Come and sit in the front, Mr. Novak.” He says through clenched teeth.

Being the pussy I am, I get ready to do whatever Mr. Crowley wants me to do, only to be held in place by Dean's tight hold. “I don’t believe he’s going anywhere, sweet cheeks. How about you get back to teaching whatever the fuck you were teaching and leave us alone.” Dean has a huge grin on his face after he says this and if I hadn’t known any better, I would say the whole class had stopped breathing at the same time. However, I did know better.

We stopped breathing at different times.

The pencil Mr. Crowley had been holding broke in two and he let out an almost inhuman growl. “Get your things and get out of my classroom! Take Mr. Novak with you and I don’t want to see either of you until you apologize, or better yet, grovel on the ground beneath my feet.” He is seething, but Dean doesn’t need to be told twice. He grabs my bag, me and we were on the way to the door quicker than Kevin had the chance to say bye.

“It was nice meeting ya for the first and last time. So long, sweet cheeks.” With that, we leave the room and a fuming Mr. Crowley behind. That was a rather exciting turn of events. I had wanted to stand up to Mr. Crowley my entire high school career but never had the guts, then in comes Dean, my knight in shining armor. Dean continued to drag me until we were out of the school and into the student parking lot where he led me to a 1967 Chevrolet Impala. I had never admitted to anyone, but I loved cars.

After basically throwing me into the passenger seat, Dean drops himself into the driver seat and drives off to who knows where. This wasn’t the first time I had been dragged around without verbal consent, it had happened to me my entire life. This was, however, the first time I had been happy about it, though I didn’t voice it aloud. I reach toward the radio to stifle the silence when Dean’s hand reaches out and lightly taps mine. I bring my hand away as he opens the console and rummages through many cassette tapes. Looking at him in curiosity he smirks as he briefly glances at me.

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole.” Dean says in a low voice. It doesn’t take him long to slip a cassette in and I sit back, listening to the entrancing voice of Led Zeppelin.                                                                  

* * *

 

I was sitting across from Dean enjoying a tasty cheeseburger when he asked me the question I had been dreading.

“Why do you talk in third person?” I sat my burger down, looking at Dean who had just finished his third slice of apple pie. I shrug my shoulders, my thumb rubbing against the bottom of the booth table in this diner we had stopped at to get something to eat. “Have you ever tried to change that?” He asks after a moment's silence and it shocks me to the core to realize that, no, I hadn’t ever tried to change the way I talk, nor had anyone ever suggested it, not even Gabriel.

I shake my head, biting my bottom lip hard. I don’t notice that Dean leaned across the table until his hand is on my chin, his thumb pulling my lip from my teeth. He presses his lips to mine in a closed mouth kiss before sitting back, leaving me a blushing mess. “Well, I’m not a good teacher but my younger brother Sam is. You can come over today and we can ask him if he’ll help together, ok?” He asks, making sure I'm okay with the suggestion, something else I had never experienced. A small smile makes it way onto my lips as I nod. “Castiel would like that very much.” I say, linking my fingers together, covering my mouth with them.

I can’t remember the last time I had been this happy.

“How about you go and wait by the car? I’m gonna’ go and pay.” I comply, walking out of the Diner to wait by the Impala for Dean. As I waited, an all too familiar truck pulled into the parking lot. I slide into the car, locking the doors as well as I prayed Lucifer and Michael hadn’t seen me. I kind of figured God wasn’t real when they angrily walked up to my side of the car.

“What are you doing out of school early, Castiel? Whose car is this?” Lucifer’s muffled voice reaches my ear as I watch the Diner’s door, hoping Dean would hurry. I realize that ignoring him was a bad idea when he and Michael started banging on the glass window. I flinch hard as my heart starts racing a mile a minute. Just when I think the glass is going to break, I hear Dean’s angry voice.

“What the fuck are you doing to my car?” He runs to my side where my brother’s look at Dean with hatred. I cover my ears and bring my knees to my chest, burrowing my face in them. I hate fighting. I hate it. I don’t register the tears sliding down my cheeks until an arm wraps around my shaking form. Looking over, I let out a sigh of relief that it is only Dean. Glancing at my side of the car, I duly note that my brothers are still there and that they don’t look happy at all, before launching myself into Dean’s awaiting arms, wrapping my arms around his neck as I cry into his chest.

“Hurry up and give us our fucking brother, man. We don’t want to see this shit.” Michael says and I freeze. He was giving me up, just like I assumed he would. Of course someone as gorgeous as Dean wouldn’t want someone like me. Be that as it was, I was not willing to let go of Dean when I felt his hands on my arms. He pauses and I feel him move, presumably to get out the car, when I hear the locks and the car start up. I can hear my brother’s curses long after we escaped their claws.

Slowly pulling away from Dean I sit back in my seat, sniffling and trying to wipe away my tears like a child. “Were those really your brothers?” He asks and I look at the outline of him because the tears are currently obscuring my view. “Yes, those were C-Castiel’s two eldest brothers.” I say, my voice scratchy as I answer him. He says nothing but turn up the radio as we drive to his house. I think he did it so he wouldn’t hear my sobbing.

I’m glad.                                                                   

* * *

 

“The restroom is the first door on the left, straight up those stairs. I'm sure you want to wash your face.” Dean says after letting me in a nice two story house. I nod, doing as instructed. I find it easily. Lightly closing the door behind me, I look at myself in the mirror above the sink. My eyes are puffy and red and my hair is slightly messy. Grabbing one of the face towels that were stacked up on the sink, I put cold water on it before sitting on the toilet and letting it rest on my eyes. My hair would just have to stay the way it was.

Hearing the bathroom door open, I slide the towel down just enough to see Dean lean against the bathroom counter. I slide the towel back up so I don’t have to look at him. “I’m bored, let’s talk.” He says and I nod. “What would you like to talk about with Castiel?” I ask. Dean hums a little, probably thinking of a response. He answers a few seconds later. “Just ourselves. I’ll start. Is that okay with you?” He asks and I take the towel off my face, nodding as I look at him.

“Well, my mom passed away in a house fire when I was four. I don’t really remember her all that well. I just know that she used to sing to me at night and she made the best pie. My Dad wasn’t really around much. After mom died, he just kind of shut himself off, and he would go on these hunting trips leaving me and Sam by ourselves for days at a time. I basically raised Sammy, so we’re pretty close. Dad’s actually on a trip now. He said he would be back today, but who know’s. Um, I love pie and burgers. I like rock music, not any of that sissy pop shit, and starting today, I like you. Your turn.” I looked at Dean with wide eyes.

The way he casually threw that last part in there like I wasn’t going to notice really grinded my gears...”You like Castiel?” I whisper and he rolls his eyes. “Duh. Why else would I kiss you?” Instead of answering him I break eye contact and tell him about myself. “Castiel has three older brothers. You met Michael and Lucifer today. Castiel has another brother, Gabriel who Castiel is extremely close with, who is currently on a trip with his college buddies. He should also be arriving home today. Castiel has never been particularly close with Michael and Lucifer. They bully him a lot. When Lucifer was 19, Castiel’s parents decided that they didn't want kids anymore and hit the road.

Castiel never got to know his parent’s and if Lucifer got off his high horse long enough to smile, Castiel might almost call him a father figure. Castiel likes burgers but PB&J are Castiel’s absolute favorite.” I pause, wondering if I should say what I am thinking. “Castiel talks in third person because that is what Castiel was forced to talk in.” I end up saying anyway. Dean’s eyebrows furrow again, and when it looks like he is about to speak, a foreign voice rings out from the bottom of the stairs. “Dean! I’m home!”

Dean decides not to say anything about what I had just said. Instead, he grabs my hand gently, guides me off my seat and back down stairs, where a tall boy with shaggy brown hair is putting his things in a nearby closet. “Hey, Sammy. I have someone I’d like you to meet.” He says and the boy turns around, a surprised look on his face when he see’s that our hands are connected. He raises up an eyebrow, staring at me in slight confusion. “Nice to meet you, I’m Sam. And you are...?” He asks and I look at Dean who smiles at me before turning to Sam. “His name is Castiel Novak. He goes to my school and we have a small favor to ask of you.” Dean says this with a lazy smirk on his face, his tone one that promises mischief. This causes Sam to look at us in suspicion. “That favor would be?” He asks slowly, skeptically.

“I need you to teach Cas here, how to speak.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. In this story, I want Castiel to be kind of confusing. I want to have points where he leaves you in wonder, leaves you with questions that will never get answered. That being said, I tried to make his actions confusing here and there as well as not really give him an inner voice. Please, feel free to give me tips on how to do this better, as well as criticism. 
> 
> Until Next Time...
> 
> SEE YA!


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

It wasn't until a week later that Michael got his revenge on me for ignoring Lucifer and him at the Diner. Gabriel had done everything in his power to keep him away, and he had succeeded for the most part. After explaining to Sam that I wasn't a mute, he agreed to help me to the best of his abilities. So leaving early and staying gone until late at Dean's, I was able to get home around the same time as Gabriel. Not taking any chances, Gabriel would sleep with me just to make sure Michael didn't try anything, seeing as Lucifer had a strict sleep schedule. This particular day, a Wednesday, I was bedridden with a migraine.

Texting Dean and my friends that I was okay, I stayed home, completely forgetting among the pain that this was the last place I wanted to be. Just as the Advil I had taken at seven started working, I heard my bedroom door creak open. Looking at it through blurry eyes, I saw that it was Lucifer. He walked over to me slowly, stopping by the side of my bed. He lays a hand on my forehead, frowning in thought. “You are extremely hot, and sick by the looks of it. I will take you to the hospital after I eat breakfast. I don't feel like cooking so I am going out. I will be back within half an hour.” I nod slowly, turning on my side as he leaves.

Lucifer wasn't a bad brother, not now anyway. He was mean, sure, but he was much nicer than Michael. With that thought in mind, I allow myself to sleep. When I wake, I'm sure it has not even been ten minutes but there's no way I can go to sleep with Michael dragging me out of my room by my hair. If I hadn't already had a migraine, I would definitely have one now. I struggle as hard as I can and that's not much considering how weak I am at the moment. I try to grip the doorway that leads to his room, but I am aware it won’t work.

I saw that my nails had left behind three scratch marks before Michael had slammed the door closed. I looked up in confusion when he dropped me on the bed, grabbing a semi-wet rag from his dresser, walking over to me until he is bent over my shaking form. “How I would love to hear your screams while I do this, but it’s morning and anyone could hear so...” He trails off, slamming the rag over my mouth and nose. I immediately breath in, regretting it mere seconds later as my body stopped struggling against Michael’s hold.

“Go to sleep.”

* * *

 

My head is pounding when I wake, no doubt another migraine. I try to move but it’s next to impossible. My entire body is screaming at me to just lay there and die. I manage to open my eyes, but just barely. Lucifer is yelling at someone just beyond my vision, though I don’t know what he’s saying over the loud blood rushing around my brain. Turning slightly to see who he is yelling at, I see Michael.

He is covered in blood.

Looking down at myself, I see the same and it’s clear to me that it’s my blood. I let out a sharp scream and the air in my lungs is rushing out in big wisps of air. Michael looks at me in confusion as Lucifer rushes over to me, trying to calm me down, but all I see is the blood. I can’t stop screaming. I'm getting louder, I know by the distressed look on Michael’s face since he wouldn’t be distressed by the agony I am in. I keep staring at him, screaming and Lucifer is shaking me as hard as he can.

I can see images of a harsher time, when Lucifer would be standing next to Michael, laughing at my misery. A time where the blood hadn’t affected me as much as it does now. I can hear Gabriel pounding on the door, his cries of terror after busting it open. There is blood every where. The walls, the brothers, me.

I just want it off.

“OFF! OFF CASTIEL! OFF! OFF!” I yell out and Lucifer figures out why I’m acting the way I am rather quickly. He gently and slowly starts to pull the clothes off but I need them off NOW! Struggling against his soft touch, I start tugging harshly at my clothes, feeling light headed, no doubt from blood loss. “Castiel, stop!”

I don’t.

Finally having enough, Lucifer does what I wanted him to do from the start, ripping these filthy, disgusting clothes from my body. Once they're gone, I fall back onto Michael's bed, curling in on myself. The cuts all over my body are bleeding, though not heavily enough for me to freak. I feel arms wrap around my body, picking me up and walking swiftly from the copper smelling room. After being set on a counter, I open my eyes, staring at Lucifer as he grabs a rag from the linen closet, wetting it in the bathroom sink.

He slowly cleans the cuts and tears slowly well in my eyes as Lucifer takes care of me. Lucifer’s not a bad brother. When I was younger, Lucifer had been left to take care of a whole household by himself. He had to give up college and his dream of being Doctor to take care of us and sure, he didn’t have to do the things he did with Michael back then, but I forgave him a long time ago. He was misguided by the demon known as Michael in his time of weakness, which was kind of funny since you would think with a name like his, he would be the mastermind.

Lucifer paused as he lifted a hand, brushing away some of my tears, pulling me into a hug I hurriedly returned. I was a sobbing mess, wetting Lucifer’s button-up quite well. “I’m sorry, Cassie.” He says to me and I just nod, hugging him tighter. Unwrapping my arms from him, he starts to clean my legs. When he’s done with that, he picks me up again, leading me, surprisingly, to his room.

No one, and I mean no one, was ever allowed in Lucifer’s room.

Closing the door behind him, he sets me on the foot of the bed and I watched as he grabbed one of his many AC/DC shirts that I often stole, before walking over to me, gesturing for me to lift my arms up, which I do without complaint. He slips the shirt over my person, before picking me up again, settling me underneath the covers.

“Sleep. I’ll have Gabriel bring you some medicine since I can’t take you to the hospital like this.” He says. It doesn’t take long before I’m completely knocked out.

* * *

 

I shoot up in the bed, groaning as I grip my stomach. I’m gonna be sick, and just when I think I’m going to throw up all over myself, a bucket is practically thrown in my face.

Lucifer was lucky. My revenge for our bad past was going to be the bile.

It doesn’t take long for me to start dry heaving, seeing as I hadn’t ate dinner or breakfast. I feel a hand rubbing circles on my back and lean into it, sighing loudly. Slowly, the bucket is taken away from me and I look up at Lucifer who had pulled me closer to him as he checked my temperature. I felt I owed him, at least a thanks. Grabbing his hand from my forehead, I grip it in mine. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Thank you for helping Ca-” I cut myself off, biting my lip before taking a breath and repeating my sentence. “Th-thank you for helping m-m-me.” I stutter and he looks at me with something akin to surprise before nodding, picking up a bag from the floor. It was a rite-aid bag, so I’m assuming Gabriel was back from school. Lucifer pulls out NyQuil and I groan. I hated that stuff, despite knowing it worked fairly well. Not only that, Lucifer makes me take two whole cups of it, instead of the recommended one because he knows I won’t wake up for many hours.

Says it will help me get better faster.

He’s right, but I would never admit it to him.

Swallowing the vile liquid, I watch as Lucifer leaves the room, coming back a few minutes later with chicken noodle soup. He makes me sit up straighter so that he can feed me, despite my protests. If there was one thing you needed to know about Lucifer, was that he did not like when any of his brothers were sick. He’d cuddle them to death until they were ok enough to be yelled at for getting sick in the first place. I was ok with it, but Gabriel and Michael...oh boy. They always threw a hissy fit.

I...

“Cassie not hungry.” Right back to third person, right back to the pathetic piece of trash I am. I push the half-empty bowl away from me, crawling under the covers, avoiding Lucifer’s worried gaze. He’s quiet a second before sighing. “Have you been taking your medicine, Cassie?” He asks, rubbing my arm through the covers. I shrug him off, throwing the covers over my head. “You know you need to take them. The last time you stopped you-” I cut him off with a frustrated yell. “C-castiel knNOWS WHAT HAPPENED!” I yell, my voice cracking at the beginning.

Instead of bothering me further like he probably wants to, Lucifer silently leaves me to myself, to rest. The NyQuil is coming at me full throttle and I wish Lucifer hadn’t taken the bottle with him so I could down the rest and never wake up. Michael would be happy without me here, and Lucifer and Gabriel wouldn’t always have to worry about me. My ‘friends’ could finally stop pretending, and Dean, my beautiful, wonderful Dean, could find someone truly deserving to be by his side.

I wouldn’t have to be in the god forsaken planet any longer. I could finally be fucking happy...I wish I had a sandwich right now. I shouldn’t have made Lucifer leave, I’m still hungry and sleepy as fuck. I hate medicine. What if I wanted to watch a movie?

Of course I fall asleep a few seconds later.

This time, until the next morning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a part where Castiel says the emotion he see’s in Dean’s eyes, those are actually the emotions he thinks should be in Dean’s eyes. What Dean really feels is something Castiel may never know. As “emotional” as he is, Castiel is very unfamiliar with emotion

CHAPTER 4

I leaned over Gabriel, watching his face as he slept. He always looked so peaceful. I loved watching him sleep, and I did it often because most nights I couldn’t sleep. He tried moving but he couldn’t, seeing as I was practically laying on top of him. His face scrunched up a bit, and he peeked up at me through half-lidded eyes. His face was one of confusion.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He asks and I shrug a little. “Watching you sleep. You have a very nice face when you are sleeping.” I say and he looks at me like I'm a weirdo before grabbing me by the waist and making me lay down beside him instead of on him. Pulling me closer to him, he rests his head on mine, sighing out in contentment. “Go back to sleep, you fucking creep.” He whispers and I nod into his chest, closing my eyes, though I don’t fall asleep.

After the whole Michael situation a week ago, Lucifer took him away and I haven’t seen either of them since then. I went back to school after my wounds sealed, which was about two days later. Dean and the others were skeptical about why I was gone, but they couldn’t see my wounds so they had no proof anything had happened. I wanted to tell Dean, but I was scared of what he would do.

I was no fool.

If I told him, he would go after Michael, and Michael was anything but nice.

I never wanted them to have even the slightest run-in. From what I can tell, Michael hated Dean from his actions at the diner, so I didn’t want to take any chances. With Lucifer out of our way for the time being, Gabriel and I had taken this rare opportunity to do what we did best.

Be lazy.

The house was an absolute pigsty, and seeing as Lucifer was always the one to cook, we were pretty much fucked.

There was no telling when he would be back but I knew I wouldn't be here. I was positive about that because Gabriel, who had recently been in contact with his friends who he had went on the Christmas/New Years trip with, had decided for this last week before they had to go back to college, a couple miles away from our home, that they would be taking a trip to Vegas and right after they would go to school. Gabriel’s friends were rich, and they spent as much money as time would allow them.

As for me, I would be going on my school’s first senior trip. Around this time every year, the school was given a large donation by an anonymous donor and they used this money to pay for Prom, Senior Dinner Dance, Graduation, and two senior trips. That being said, our first trip was a two-week vacation in Paris, France. The second trip, which we will go to the day after Graduation, will be to Washington D. C., really just to roam and say we had been there. This was also a two-week trip, though I doubt it will be as exciting as France.

Gabriel had gotten my passport ready for me yesterday, which was Sunday, and looking at the clock, I realized I had been trapped in my own thoughts for a little over three hours. Seeing that it was six, I slipped out of Gabriel’s arms unnoticed and made my way to the bathroom, where I was eager to take a shower. I loved taking shower’s, they made me feel so refreshed. After that was finished, I got dressed in a long sleeved black sweater, dark blue jeans and black timbs. Once I was sure I looked okay, I went downstairs to the kitchen and with a resigned sigh, I washed the large amount of dishes that were in the sink, though I didn’t clean the rest of the room.

I just needed clean dishes because I wanted to cook breakfast for Gabriel and I and lunch for me and Dean. He had told me that plane food made him sick to his stomach and our flight would be a long one, so I decided this was the best course of action. After packing away the lunch I had quickly made, I move onto breakfast. I am just finishing up the eggs when Gabriel walks into the kitchen scratching his naked belly. Frowning slightly, I put eggs on our plates before putting the pan in the sink. It really wasn’t proper to eat without a shirt but oh well.

I had only cooked pancakes and eggs so after I grabbed our utensils and syrup, we immediately dug in. I was relatively full by the time I had finished the pancakes and half of the eggs. Not being able to eat enough to fill you really shrinks your belly over time. Michael had made sure of that. While I had ate very slowly, Gabriel was done fast and as I was coming out of my bedroom, after having came upstairs to get my things, Gabriel was dressed and has his bags as well. Before we exited the house, I taped a note on the fridge for Lucifer so he wouldn’t go crazy wondering where it was we had ran off to.

Gabriel told me not to but he was honestly just being a brat. Lucifer had no qualms about calling the police and he would if he had to. It doesn’t take long for us to arrive at the airport and after helping me get my suitcase and carry on bag from the trunk, Gabriel gives me a long hug and lingering kiss on the forehead. I guess this would be the last time we would be seeing each other for a while. “Don’t get into any trouble and if you need me I’m always just a call away. Understand?” I nod, giving him another hug before stepping away from the curb as Gabriel hurries back into his car, knowing he was late in picking up his friends.

I wave as his car drives off, only to see a familiar impala drive up. Inside the driver seat is an older man I had not met before, while Dean exits from the passenger side. I eye the man curiously as Dean get’s his bags from the back seat. The man stares at me back with a raised eyebrow. “Who are you?” He asks, his voice rugged. I go to open my mouth and answer when Dean slams the back door shut harshly. “None of your business old man. Thanks for bringing me here. Don’t mess up my baby.” He says, snatching my big suitcase from me and heading into the airport. Glancing back at the man who throws me a glare, I hurry after Dean.

Once I reach him, I don’t say anything, sensing the bad mood he is in. Before long we are inside of the plane after going through a long bag and body check, as well as a tedious headcount. Luckily, I am sat by Dean who has, by this point, cooled down as he stares out of the window, having got the window seat. Leaning into the aisle, I see Charlie and Kevin walking towards me. They end up sitting in the seats across from me and I can see it in their “Innocent” smiles. Sighing, I feel kind of sad that Meg isn’t here, but because of a death in the family, she wouldn’t be able to come. It takes about thirty more minutes for the plane to take off. In that time I had gave Dean the food I made because already I could hear his stomach growling.

For those minutes, I had been conversing with Kevin while Charlie threw sly glances at Dean and I’s connected hands and listening to music. As we pulled off, I saw Kevin pop a pill and knew then that any conversation I had going on with them was effectively put to a stop. Charlie would be lost in her music for the rest of the flight and Kevin was afraid of heights and seeing his eyes close, I knew his pill had done its job. Turning to Dean, I tug on his sleeve lightly. He looks towards me and I flick my eyes to his lips, then to his eyes. His lips tug into a crooked smirk as he wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to his person. “Hmm? What is it?” He whispers into my ear and I cover my mouth to stop the giggles I know would have escaped.

I try to pull from him in slight embarrassment, but Dean is having none of it. Tightening his hold, he whispers in my ear again. “You don’t want to say it? That’s okay, I know what you mean.” The kiss isn’t special. It doesn’t differ from any of our other kisses, except for maybe the first. It fills me with warmth, a sense of belonging. I felt at home, something that was seldom, something that never really happened at all. This was one of the reasons I was in love with him. Pulling away from Dean, I lean my head on his chest so that he won’t notice the wide blush on my face. I had admitted to myself about three days ago that I was hopelessly in love with Dean.

He was everything to me and despite not knowing him long, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to live without him ever again. He was so brash, strong. If I had never known pride, his being would teach me to never forget lust. He drove a car that he said he cared less about than me, but I knew that wasn’t true. He wore a jacket that was strictly to make him look bad ass instead of actually making him warm. He only listened to his so called “amazing music”, with cassette tapes and had an unhealthy obsession with pie. He put family over everything, more specifically Sam. Then, most importantly...

He made me feel....

Free.

Pulling away from Dean in a jerking motion, as if being burnt by some imaginary fire, I wrap my arms around myself, leaning over in my seat and away from Dean. The brief look I shot his way allowed me to see the hurt in his eyes but with the way my lips trembled and my eyes grew moist, I didn’t care. He reached towards me and I flinched hard, shaking my head harder. “D-don’t touch C-c-castiel.” I say through chattering teeth. Dean pulls his hands back, looking at me in confusion, and perhaps a little bit of anger. I mean, how could he understand why I do these things? How dare I disrespect him in that way?

Dean seems to search my eyes and I don’t think he finds what he is looking for, but I can’t be sure he was looking for anything. He leans back in his seat and stares out the window, never once turning back to me. I bite my lips as a last ditch effort not to cry and as a single tear falls from my eye, I know I have to do something else. Reaching hurriedly across the aisle, I steal Kevin’s pills from his hands in a movement so slight that no one notices, especially not Dean who is hellbent on ignoring my petty existence. I throw three of the pills in my mouth, swallowing them dry.

I’m out like a light two minutes later.

* * *

When I awake, it is to being laid in one of the most comfortable beds I have ever felt. Opening my eyes, I see Dean slip into the bed next to me, dressed only in a pair of boxers. Looking at myself, I see that I only have on one of his t-shirts. His eyes flicker to mine and he smiles softly and I frown. Pushing my palms into my eyes, I let out a low wailing noise, the tears I had tried to stop earlier coming back tenfold.

“Castiel sorry. So sorry.”

I don’t know what it is I am apologizing for, probably for being alive, but Dean says nothing as he crushes me into a strong hold, rocking me slightly as he rubs my back. The tears eventually stop and I lean up, pushing my lips onto Deans in a silent kiss. He kisses me back briefly before pulling away and pulling the large duvet over tops of us, tucking my head under his chin. Soon, he is asleep and I am awake, knowing I will not be able to sleep. Pushing myself closer to him, I breath in deep, hoping to never forget the smell of _this_ Dean, the one who I hope will always be my protector.

He smells of tears, dust and stale cigarettes.

 


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

I let out a loud groan as I watched Dean slowly make his way around our hotel room, as if we weren’t already late for the meet up with the rest of our senior class in the lobby. He smirks at me as he finally,  _ finally _ , makes it over to the door. “I’m done now. Let’s go.” He says after closing the door. I roll my eyes at his antics and start to walk down the hallway towards the elevators. “Wanna’ have sex in the-” I cut Dean off with a sharp glare and he raises his hands in surrender, even though I know he’s just waiting to ask the same thing in another place we can’t do it at.

We hadn’t done the actual deed yet, and I hope Dean won’t actually take my virginity in some of the seedy places he has asked me to do it in. Stepping into the elevator, I let out a small laugh at the way Dean grips the sides of it. For someone so tough, he sure was afraid of elevators. Before he catches me laughing at him, I push the ground level button and after the doors close I slide over to Dean who sends me a glare when he notices the smile still etched onto my face. “You think this is funny? We are inside a death trap.” He growls out and I wrap my arms around his midsection.

“Of course not. Castiel was just thinking of something Gabriel said before Castiel left. Are you excited for the tour?” I ask and I hear him huff before he snatches his hands from the side of the elevator and wraps his arms around me. “Yeah, but I’m happy I get to share this experience with you.” I pull away from Dean when I hear the elevator ding, slipping my left hand into his awaiting right, pulling him from the elevator when the doors open. “Me too.” Peaking up I see Dean staring at me with a warm smile, undoubtedly from my use of proper point of view. Squeezing his hand, I drag him to the awaiting group that waits by the door.

Standing next to Kevin and Charlie, we listen to the tour guide tell us where exactly we would be visiting, and most deliciously, where lunch and dinner would be. When we left the hotel, we spent about three hours visiting  **Musée Picasso** and  **Musée national du Moyen Âge** . Around twelve, we stopped for lunch at  _ Pierre Gagnaire _ . After that, we proceeded to spend the rest of the day going to  **Place de la Concorde** ,  **Pont Alexandre III** , and  **The Louvre** . We took about two hours before the Louvre to eat dinner at  _ Clamato _ . I was kind of sad we couldn’t go to the Eiffel Tower, but there was always another day. I didn’t eat much because Dean told me not to. I wasn’t sure what he was planning until we were on the way back to the hotel after headcount and he pulled me into a side alley where he continued dragging me who knows where.

“What are you doing? We’re going to get into trouble.” I say loudly as we run and I hear him let out one of those boisterous laughs I love oh so much. “It’s a secret. Just follow me.” Trusting Dean with my life already, I did as told and decided that whatever he was doing was worth it. ,

* * *

My gawd if it wasn’t worth it. Covering my mouth and the shocked gasp that almost escaped it, I turn to Dean who has what has to be a smug look on his face. I can’t get a single word out and I’m sure I wouldn't know what to say anyway. We are standing in front of the Eiffel Tower, lit up so beautifully in the night and I begin to wonder what I did to get someone as great as Dean. “Come on, don’t want to miss our reservations.” He says and my mouth drops open even further as he gently pushes me into the elevator that was located underneath the tower right in front of us. This time, Dean grips my hand instead of the actual elevator and after finally closing my mouth, I can’t keep the large smile off my face.

The elevator stops and we get off, stepping into  _ Le Jules Verne _ . Dean talks to the person at the host stand. After we are seated, I ask the question that has been right on the tip of my tongue since I heard the word reservation. “How in the  _ world _ could you afford all this?” I ask and Dean crosses his arms over each other and I am suddenly aware that we are severely under dressed. As if sensing my train of thought, Dean speaks. “I’m so glad I went against wearing a suit. It would have been so awkward and well, I’m just not a suit man. I actually just don’t like suits, I like people in regular clothing. Like you.” Pausing, he reaches across the table and takes my chin in his hands, making me look at him.

“You are beautiful exactly the way you are.”

Blushing seventy degrees of red, I push his hand away as the waiter arrives to the table. Dean laughs at me and after I send him a small glare, we order our food. Luckily, the waiter knew English. It doesn’t take long for our food to arrive, which is surprising and when it does, I'm thankful Dean had told me not to eat. I had ordered the duck dinner and it is the most delicious thing that has ever had the pleasure of coming into contact with my tongue. From the way Dean is eating his steak dinner, he chose right as well. We eat silently, but we keep stealing ‘secret’ glances at each other and I don’t think I’ve ever smiled this much in my entire life.

The food is gone in what feels like a blink of an eye. Setting down my water, I lean back in my seat with my hands folded over my bloated belly. Looking at Dean through my eyelashes I can see that he is just as satisfied as me when he let’s out a less than discreet burp. Laughing, I sit back up as I see him grin at me. “Give me your hands.” He says and though I’m a little confused, I do as he says. He just stares at me. “Dean?” I ask.

“Castiel.”

“What is it?”

Dean smiles softly, threading our fingers together. “I know we haven’t known each other long, barely a month, but I can promise you that I have never felt this way about anyone in my entire life. You are the most beautiful, most exquisite creature I have ever had the utmost pleasure of meeting and I’m glad you decided to let my screwed up ass get the chance to get to know you on the level I have.” I go to speak and he squeezes my hands shaking his head. I remain silent as I listen to his words. “You are everything to me and honestly, this was the third school I had transferred to this school year. I was determined to drop or fail out, whichever came first and then I saw you during homeroom and thought, ‘You have got to be kidding me’. At first, I thought it was merely coincidence that the day I made up my mind to quit school, I would see the closest thing to an Angel God would permit me to see. It wasn't until you walked out of that bathroom that it occurred to me that it was fate. For the first time ever, I am truly happy with my life. Sam and I are closer than ever, and that's only because you made us talk last week about our feelings. Even though that was a cruel and unusual punishment.”

We both chuckle and Dean is looking at me with an emotion I'm not sure I can name. He continues. “School doesn't completely suck because I have you're face to look forward to. Hell, I guess I even like your little friends you're always hanging out with. You give me motivation to do good in school so that I will get to a good college, so that I can provide for you. I mean, that's what a good husband does, provides for his wife.” At this point, I'm confused. “What? College? Husba-what are you talking about?” I ask and Dean stands from his seat, taking his hands from mine as he reaches into his pocket and OH MY GAWD HE IS NOT!

Dean goes down on one knee in front of my seat and the restaurant goes silent. I am covering my mouth with both hands and my entire body is trembling in what I know is fear. The box in Dean's hands is closed but knowing what lies inside is what is scary.

“I love you.”

My eyes instantly fill with tears and Dean just continues to smile. “I've loved you for a while now and I can’t see myself ever falling out of it, and I don’t want to. I want to fall asleep with your arms wrapped around me every night and wake to your drooling face every morning for the rest of my life, or at least when we finally get our place together.” At this he lets out a chuckle before continuing. “I  **need** you, Castiel. I’ll be damned if I ever give you up.” He pauses as if for dramatic effect.

“Will you marry me, Castiel?”

My face is slick with tears as I sit, nodding my head. “Y-yes.” I answer after several beats. The applause are abundant and everyone is crowding close to us, giving us hugs and kisses, engagement gifts that they just happened to have with them and I begin to understand why they call this the  _ City Of Love _ . Somewhere in the commotion of celebration, Dean has found me and he slips the silver ring with the smallest of diamonds on it, onto my left ring finger. He pulls me impossibly close to him, my arms wrapping around his neck on instinct. We stand there for a bit and the tears have stopped but fate only knows how long that will last. “I love you.” Dean repeats in my ear.

Squeezing him closer, I smile as I set my lips by his ear. “I love you too.” I whisper and pull away from him but keeping hold of him by holding his hand. I can feel the blush rising to my face as I think of what it is I am about to say. Dean is looking at me in confusion, so I take the small courage I have and mouth two words to him.

‘I’m ready.’

* * *

Dean sets the bag of engagement gifts by the hotel door, following me to the bedroom. We strip from our constricting clothing as we walk and before I know it the both of us are naked and alone. Dean’s body is rippled with muscles, his skin smooth and unblemished. Besides the occasional scar, he is flawless. Glancing further down, I come eye to eye with his length. Looking down at my own, I turn from Dean’s smoldering gaze. There is no way he could like my body, not when his was so...

I peak another glance at the appendage hanging between his legs.

So...perfect.

He moves forward and I flinch. This does not deter Dean as he grabs me by my hips, pulling me in close to him. His skin is hot to the touch and the way he holds me makes me want to rethink if this is really what I want but Dean gently lowers me onto the bed, as if I was his most precious person, and perhaps I was. Isn’t that what he said when he proposed? His lips shower me with the only love to touch my body, and just when I’m brought to the brink of ecstasy, he stops. A whine leaves my lips as I sit up, and Dean smirks, leaning up to press our lips together.

His lips are chapped, an odd feeling against my smooth one's, but I relish in the feeling. His tongue prods against my mouth, I part my lips and allow him to do as the locals do. A simple  _ french kiss _ . My thoughts are so funny I laugh into the kiss but with the way he suddenly grounds his hips down into mine, I'm reminded why this situation is anything but funny. It's hot, red, flowing, with what? I'm not too sure.

Dean reaches his hand underneath the pillow and drags a bottle of strawberry flavored lube back out. I close my eyes not wanting to see any of what I'm sure is the regular process. “Open your eyes.” He says and I do as he says. The lube isn’t in my view, but Dean makes me look him in the eye as he lowers his mouth onto my leaking shaft. His lips stretch over me and I watched his saliva leak out and pool down by my sac. It should be disgusting, but it has some  sort of allure to it. He bobs his head up and down slowly, torturing me softly. I want him to go faster, but I won’t ask. This isn't something I’m used to. I think Dean know’s this.

It’s probably why he is making me watch him. He wants me to be used to everything he is doing, he is making sure I am comfortable because he wants to keep doing these kinds of things with me. Dean pauses in his ministrations and from the way he rolls his eyes and slides his mouth off of me I can tell that he has noticed that I am again stuck in the clouds. Not missing a beat, I grab Dean by the back of his head, pulling him down on top of me, crashing my lips onto his. He rolls over until I’m on top and I slowly, with hidden sexual prowess, slide down his body until my mouth is right above his large girth. I take him in, all in one gulp and I think he is shocked but I can never be too sure with Dean.

The taste of Dean is salty. It doesn’t agree with the buds on the top of my tongue but in knowing I love him, I will do anything to make him feel good. He arches into me, his dick hitting the back of my throat harshly, causing tears to gather at the corners of my eyes. His rough actions remind me of a time I was much weaker than I am now. It reminds me of a man I can’t quite remember. Throwing these thoughts to the wind, I continue to please Dean with everything I am. I have to make him stay. I have to make Dean realize that I am worth it. I have to make sure he doesn’t regret what now lies on my ring finger.

Deans comes inside my mouth, his semen sliding down my throat.

It’s disgusting and I want to throw up, but I don’t.

I don’t like oral sex, at least giving it, and I can’t quite remember why.

Pulling back from Dean and swallowing what cum didn’t leak out of my mouth, I allow myself to be settled over Dean, my legs on either side of his body. Dean is trailing kisses along my neck, sucking here and there and somewhere in the back of my mind I hear a cap top pop open. A few seconds later, Dean is prodding at my backside. “Relax, Cas.” He whispers as to not disrupt the atmosphere we have going on in the room. It is only when he speaks do I realize how wound up I am. Letting out a breath I hadn’t known I was holding, I force my body to relax, allowing Dean to easily slide his slicked fingers into my hole.

The feeling is foreign and it makes me feel as bad as oral did, but I don’t say anything, opting instead to lean my head on Dean’s chest and breathe out short shallow breaths. His fingers slide out of me after what feels like eternity and something much larger is then placed at my entrance. “Are you sure about this?” His voice is tight with frustration at not being inside me yet.

This is my last chance to say no.

I don’t like this...

“Yes, Castiel is s-sure.”

Then, Dean is inside me. It stings, but it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as I expected it would. Dean is supporting my weight with his chest as he spreads my cheeks so that he would have better access. He moves so slow I can feel every bump and groove of his package as he grinds into me. Eventually the stinging stops and I relax a little more, and that is all he needs to begin pounding in and out of me. My back arches strongly and Dean moves his arms around me, hugging me tightly to his person. My hands are tangled in the mess of his hair and he is sucking on my neck so hard that I become confused as to which feeling I’m supposed to be lost in.

Before I am aware as to what is happening, I am on my stomach with my ass in the air and Dean is inside me again, fucking me hard enough that the bed frame is ramming into the wall. This act is pleasurable, it feels great.

I love it.

I love it.

I love it.

I love Dean.

I love Dean.

I love Dean.

I moan, my hands fisted into the sheets below me and drool leaks from the side of my mouth. I almost can't take what be is giving to me but I do and I love it.

I love it.

I love it.

I love it.

I love Dean.

I love Dean.

I love Dean.

He stills, buried deep inside me. Something fills me and I know it is the same thing that is now on the bed below my hips. He slides out of me and I scoot over, giving him room to lie behind me, which he does. I push myself back into his awaiting arms and his face is buried into the back of my neck.

“I'll never leave you. I'll never stop loving you, Castiel.” His words are like a poisonous whip, slicing my neck as if his tongue was a knife. My eyes are red and pulsing, my head hurts and all of a sudden my pillow is wet and so is my face. Why am I always crying? I loved every single thing Dean did to me. I had to.

I love it.

I love it.

I loved-

I love Dean.

I love Dean.

I lov-


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More sex in this chapter

CHAPTER 6

 

“Yes, Castiel understands. Okay. Bye.” Hanging up my phone, I slide into the passenger seat of Dean's impala. Looking over at Dean, I smile softly at the way his eyebrow creases as he rummages through the console before putting in the same Led Zeppelin cassette tape he had when we first drove together. Turning the volume on max, Dean drives away from the airport, and while doing so he connects my left and his right hand, setting them on the console. I stare at the ring on my finger a moment, before leaning back into my seat. I turn my head and stare out the window and up at the sky.

It is dark and clear. The heater is on, the only warmth in the cold weather of January. We made it back two days before February first, which was good because the principal had said we didn’t have to go to school until the first. His reasoning being we would be useless otherwise, because of jet lag. The morning after our first time, we awoke to banging on the hotel door. After hastily throwing on suitable clothes, Dean answered the door only to be met with the fuming principal. Of course they noticed that we were missing.

The principal was going to expel us until I walked over to the doorway, where he noticed my ring and close proximity to Dean. He had looked between us in query, before Dean explained what exactly we had done during our time away from the hotel. We got away with a month detention starting the first. At least it's the shortest month. The rest of the trip passed pretty quickly with the amount of time we spent going all around Paris and the many congratulations and questions from our fellow classmates and people from the streets.

Kevin and Charlie were the most shocked and heaven forbid what Meg’s reaction would be. I had just gotten off the phone with Lucifer, telling him that I had something important to discuss when I arrived home and reassuring him that I was on the way and wouldn’t be too long. I had made Gabriel leave his trip early by one day so that he could hear my announcement as well and whether or not Michael was in the house was something no one told me. Letting out a low mewl at feeling the way Dean suddenly gripped my hand, I peak over at him through half-lidded eyes. We are at a stoplight and because it is around two in the morning, there are no other cars around.

Dean uses the hand that is already connected to me to pull me close enough to him for him to place his lips onto mine. I immediately open my mouth and not even a second later I can feel his tongue slithering its way in until it touches my tongue and as if by an unknown force, they begin such an intricate dance of wrestling that it makes me wonder how I don’t crave this more than I already do. I push my hands into his shirt, feeling up his chiseled chest with such finesse that it doesn’t surprise me when a chill makes it way through his body. He kisses me even harder, if that’s possible, and he runs his hand down my spine, causing a chill to take over me as well. It doesn’t scare me, being this close to him, knowing each other’s body so well, especially after only being acquainted with each other for two weeks.

Breaking apart slowly, I grin at Dean cheekily, as we sit back in our seats and he continues to drive to my house, seeing as the light had been green for a while now. Leaning my head on the passenger side door, I allow my eyes to slip close, though I hadn’t anticipated I would fall asleep due to the lull of driving around at night time.

* * *

“Cas, wake up.” I smack the hand that is currently tugging at my hair away from my face and groan lightly, rubbing my eyes to get the sleep out of them. Looking at Dean who is on my side of the car with the door open, I groggily open my mouth to speak only for him to hush me. “Shush. Here, let me pick you up.” Not objecting to being close to Dean, I lift my hands out towards him and he wraps his arms around my middle, picking me up as if I am but a child. I instantly wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as he holds me tight to his chest. Laying my head on his shoulder, I embrace the soft swaying motion as he walks us to my house door.

When he reaches it, he kicks the door as to not drop me, and it opens a couple seconds later. “He wanted to talk to us but he falls asleep. Here, follow me.” I hear Gabriel’s voice but nothing is getting me out of the state I am in. It takes only a few minutes for me to feel myself being lowered onto my mattress. Tightening my arms, I whimper. “S-stay with m-m-me.” I stutter out through clenched teeth, opening my eyes just enough to look into Dean’s. He looks hesitant but Gabriel’s voice rings out into my room from the doorway.

“You can stay. He’ll cry otherwise. Night.” I hear my door close, and Dean sighs as he pries my hands off of him. I watch him as he goes to my door, locks it, and strips himself naked. I strides over to me and I giggle feeling myself wake just a bit more. Dean kisses my cheeks as he slowly takes my clothes off until I’m as naked as he is. “I love you.” He whispers and I lean up and kiss his neck, then latch my mouth on it, sucking for dear life. Pulling away with a wet ‘pop’, I smile at the deep red, slightly purple, mark left on his neck. “I love you.” I repeat to him and he reaches down onto the floor and slips from one of his articles of clothing a bottle of unscented lube.

He slicks three fingers and I lean up to stare as he easily pushes two fingers in, knowing I had played with myself in the airport bathroom while Dean had gotten his car. I smirked at Dean’s knowing eyes and urge with a tilt of the head for him to add the third. The fit is snug and I wonder why Dean’s fingers look so fucking good moving in and out of me. Using my left hand to steady me on the bed, I begin stroking my shaft lazily with my right. I bite my lip to keep in the lewd noises I know would be escaping my mouth.

Dean notices and he takes his fingers out, spits in his hand because, I’m assuming he didn’t want to waste time getting the lube bottle he had thrown on the floor. He rubs it on his length and pushes himself into me so fast and hard I’m forced to let out the long drawn out moan that had been in me since the stoplight. Dean doesn’t pause or give me mercy and I don’t know how long I will last but with the way he continues to pound into me, using me as if I was his personal sex toy, I don’t think I will last long. Almost too gone in the feeling of pleasure, I don’t see Dean reaching towards me until his hand is wrapped tightly around my neck and I am slammed down onto my bed.

He squeezes the sides of my throat and it takes everything in me not to scream out as he buries himself so deep inside me I can feel it in my stomach, on my spine, he is fucking me with raw power and his eyes show a sort of dangerous I am glad to have encountered. My thighs lay twitching harshly in my hands and my dick is being rubbed between Dean’s stomach and mine. The friction is delicious and the way my throat closes next to Dean’s hands, the way I can barely breathe, is exciting every pore on my body. I thread my fingers with his hair, tugging at his hair as he licks a long line of saliva from my nipple, up to my cheek, which he begins to nibble on. I pull my face from him, taking my hands and placing them on Dean’s arm as his pace increases.

“A-ah! Y-y-y-yess....right there...” The whorish words are slipping from my mouth before I can stop them.

Dean relishes.

I am where he has always wanted me and I can’t say I’m complaining. Dean clenches his hand, and now I can’t breathe at all. Black dots are starting to block my vision when Dean fills me with him so thoroughly I forget where he begins and I end. It’s no surprise I come seconds later and Dean removes his hand. I am breathing so hard I feel light-headed and my entire body has the shakes, my orgasm that intense. Dean slides out of me once he see’s my breathing has gotten a little regular. He takes my shirt he had thrown on the floor and wipes us as clean as we will be tonight before pulling me into his front. Kissing my lips softly, he gazes into my eyes until they droop close in exhaustion.

“Goodnight, Castiel.”

“Mmm..night.”

* * *

I pull on my blue t-shirt and stare at Dean who had just put on his jeans. “You can come down without a shirt.” I say when he can’t seem to find his shirt. He shakes his head at me and picks up his jacket, then puts it on and zips it up. “I’m meeting your brother’s officially. I don’t want to mess this up.” Rolling my eyes, I open my room door and gesture towards it. “Let’s go.” I say and he glares at me before huffing and walking out. Closing my door behind me, I walk behind him until we reach the kitchen where Lucifer was handing out plates. We sat down at the kitchen table, Dean next to Gabriel who didn’t have on a shirt, and me next to Lucifer who had just sat down. Michael was sitting on the counter. Lucifer broke the silence after about five minutes when everyone had made a dent in their breakfast. “Were you going to introduce your guest to us?” I nod, setting down my fork. “Dean, This is Lucifer, my eldest brother. On the counter is Michael, second eldest. And next to you is Gabriel, third eldest. Lucifer, Michael, Gabriel, this is Dean, my fiance’.” The minute the word fiance’ comes out my mouth, Gabriel begins choking on his food and Michael has fallen off the counter.

Lucifer set’s down his coffee and turns to me, his eyes focusing on the ring on my finger, then to Dean. “Why do you want to marry our brother?” He asks and Dean meets his gaze head on. “I love him. I decided not to wait so I would never have the chance to lose him.” He speaks with so much pride I have to tear my eyes off of him to look at Lucifer who has just turned to me. “And you, do you love him Castiel?” He asks. I nod reaching and grabbing Dean’s hand, to which he interlocks our hands. Lucifer just stares for a bit before nodding and picking up his coffee, looking away from us. I look at him in disbelief. Gabriel is speechless and Michael is outraged. “Lucifer, you can't seriously be-” Michael seems to swallow his words faster than he has ever swallowed his own spit.

“Michael, I suggest you say nothing on this matter or any further matters having to do with Castiel, or we will be forced to take another trip. You wouldn't want that would you?” Michael turns pale as he shakes his head. Lucifer smiles before turning to Gabriel. “You, go get dressed and pack your stuff up. You need to go back to school today.” Gabriel stare s at Dean and I’s connected hands before leaving the kitchen. Lucifer turns to Dean. “Your family may be missing you. It was nice to meet you. Castiel, how your guest out.” He says before picking up the daily paper.

Very clearly dismissed, I tug Dean from the kitchen to outside, my face breaking out into a huge grin as he hugs me tight, picking me up and twirling me. Laughing, I smack his arms. “Put me down!” I squeal and he does but only after he pecked my lips. “See you later?” I shake my head. “Spend time with Sam. I’ll see you the first.” I say, patting myself on the back because of my outstanding sentence. Instead of saying anything about it, Dean just smiles that I am getting better, good at speaking, even.

“Bye, love.” He says and I wave at him as he get’s into the impala. “Bye.” I mouth, before going inside the house. Lucifer is waiting for me at the entrance. “Are you sure about this, Castiel? You've only just met him.” I clench my hands at my sides.

Was I?

“I am sure.” I say and Lucifer’s eyes light up with pride. “I’ll trust you. Go take a nap. You still look tired.” Lucifer tells me and I nod, running up to my room. I pause when I first open the door, seeing Gabriel on my bed, his face twisted in a nasty snarl. “Gabr-” Before I can even get his name out, Gabriel has stood, made his way over to me and slammed me against the hallway wall. “You think I didn’t hear you guys last night? I didn’t hear what such a whore you are? A nasty slut, and now you're saying he’s your fiance’? You fucking disgust me.” Pushing me to the floor, Gabriel goes into his room, slamming his door shut. I am in shock, but somehow, I get into my room, somehow I lay down, and somehow, I don’t cry as my frail body falls into a deep sleep.

I dream that Gabriel was never born.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> btw this is a mpreg if I haven't told you

CHAPTER  7

 

The last few months have been...rough. I feel so alone all the time, at least when I’m not with Dean. I was so used to always having Gabriel in my corner, that when he left it, I was confused, disoriented. It was as if some switch was flicked upward, shining light on, what I now assume is the real, Gabriel. Sometimes he and Michael gang up on me and make me feel even worse about myself than I already do. They don't hit me. After last time Lucifer made it very clear that anything done to me would be done back 20 times worse. My only reprieve were when Gabriel was away at school and Michael was at work, but Michael came home every night and Gabriel popped up every weekend.

“Come on, Cassie. We have to leave now or we'll be late.” Lucifer’s calm voice broke through my scattered thoughts and I looked up at him from my bed before nodding and then standing. He waited until I had passed him in the doorway to follow me. The house was quiet save for the sound of our uneven footfalls. It doesn't take long for the two of us to exit the house. It takes an even shorter time for us to reach his car, which I slide into easily. Lucifer stays silent as we drive to the doctor’s office. This was another thing that had been bothering me. I had been unusually sick the last few weeks. Lucifer had already taken me to the doctor once, and they had run a few tests and rescheduled us for another visit, which was today, Thursday morning, a week before graduation.

Turning to Lucifer, I admire how strong he looks. I loved Lucifer a lot, probably more than I ever loved Gabriel. I always had and in light of recent events, I realized I always would. Turning to look back out the window, I hope that the doctor visit is over fast enough for me to still be able to go to school.

* * *

“Congratulations Mr. Novak, you're having a baby.” The doctor's words send an uneasy shock through the small hospital room. The doctor, who by this point notices that this might not be that joyous of an occasion takes a seat, facing us.

“Now I know this may be a shock to you, but this is not that surprising. Based on your DNA, you were born from a man. It is more of a recessive gene so it does not happen often but it happens, though not as often as it did in the past.” My eyes widen and I turn to Lucifer who won’t meet my gaze. “P-pregnant?” I stutter out, turning back to the doctor who smiles at me, her eyes alight with understanding. “Now don’t be scared. You have options. There is adoption, and abortion-” My eyes widen and I shake my head hard at her words. “I-I will keep my b-b-baby.” From the corner of my eye I can see Lucifer look at me in disbelief, and so can the doctor. She doesn’t comment on it, which I am grateful. Instead, she scribbles something down on a piece of paper before ripping it off and handing it to me.

“That’s a prescription for prenatal vitamins and also a hormone supplement to keep your body in the right condition for the pregnancy because although it is normal, you're body isn’t as equipped for pregnancy as a woman. You are about five weeks along so it is important you start to take these immediately twice a day. Once at night and once in the morning. You are all free to go. Make sure you call and make a follow up appointment. Have a good day Mr. Novak.” With that, the doctor takes her leave. I gently hold the piece of paper in my hand in silence as Lucifer comes and stands in front of me. I look up at him and I don’t know what I look like but he immediately hugs me. I wrap my arms around him, shaking badly.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do. If you want to keep the baby, I won’t get mad. I love you.” My sounds are loud, broken. Eventually, I stop and Lucifer takes me back home, allowing me to skip. I don’t answer anyone’s calls and Lucifer makes sure Michael doesn’t even speak to me. Around dinner Lucifer brought me soup, knowing I probably wouldn’t be able to stomach anything heavier. He stays there while I eat, holding me, giving the silent support I needed in a situation like this. When I finish, he tucks me into bed and makes me take the pills the doctor had prescribed, as well as my Prozac that I knew he knew I hadn’t been taking.

I fell asleep with my hands on my belly.

* * *

The next morning when Lucifer usually comes to get me for breakfast, I am already dressed and ready for school. “Are you sure about going to school?” I nod and follow him from my room to the kitchen where Michael and Gabriel, who got in late last night from college from the summer, were eating at the table. I slide into my spot next to Gabriel who send me a nasty glare but continues eating. I stare at my plate for a little while before eating. I’m not really hungry but I didn’t have just myself to look after now.I finish eating quickly and am happy to see that morning sickness has not got me in its grasp today.

Nodding to Lucifer who doesn’t usually eat breakfast, I stand and go to wait for him by the front door while he gets his keys. I hadn’t wanted to see Dean this morning so I told him not to come.

“What’s going on?” Gabriel’s voice kicks me out of my head and I look at him. He is standing in the kitchen doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. “Lucifer is doting on you more than usual. What did the doctor say?” Just as I am about to start crying, Lucifer pops out of the living room, pushing Gabriel back into the kitchen roughly. “Mind your own business and stay out of Castiel’s.” I hear Gabriel grunt and then Lucifer is next to me, turning me to the door and leading me out with a hand on the small of my back. After helping me into the car, he get’s into the driver seat and then we are on the way to the school.

“When are you going to tell Dean?” He asks after I have stepped out of the car and he is about to pull off. Seeing Dean watching me from the school’s front step, I sigh. “I guess now. Goodbye Lucifer.” I mumble. Lucifer doesn’t answer back as he drives off. Turning, I walk all the way to Dean, who grabs me a little hard around the wrist, dragging me into the school and then an empty classroom. I wince at his tight grip, but he doesn’t let me go. “Where were you yesterday? I was worried. What were you doing and with who?” He asks and his grip tightens, making me let out a pathetic whine. Dean notices and releases me, opting instead to pace in front of me.

“I had a doctor’s appointment, I told you.” Dean seems to get even angrier. He stops pacing and backs me into the wall. “That’s last’s all day? I’m not fucking stupid. What were you doing? Fucking someone?” Wrapping arms around my stomach, I curve from him slightly.

“Castiel is pregnant.” Dean freezes in place and I unwrap my arms from my person and run into Dean, hugging him tight. “Castiel wants to keep it. Don’t make Castiel get rid of it. Please...” I hear Dean sigh before he hugs me back, laying his head on top of mine. “I’m sorry for getting so mad. I’m happy, Cas. I wouldn’t dream of making you get rid of it. I love you, baby.” Smiling, I lean back enough so that I can kiss Dean who is smiling too. Pulling back, I lay my head on his chest.

I don’t see the smirk that has overtaken his face, or notice the way his grip turns from loving to possessive.

* * *

I smile at Meg who is having what she dubbed, “A Hair MalFuckUp”. Really, she is just nervous and looks fine. Looking around, I notice that Kevin is not in the line to go into the graduation ceremony. I turn to Dean who is trying to help Charlie to get Meg to calm down. “I'm about to go and find Kevin.” I say and he nods before going back to what he was doing. Assuming he is in the restroom, I go there first and hear someone throwing up in one of the stalls. A couple seconds later the sounds stop and a toilet flushes before Kevin walks out of the stall. He pauses when he see’s me.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“Fine.”

“You sure?”

“Are you?” He snaps and I look down at the floor while he washes his hands. After a while I hear a sigh and then I feel him lifting my chin up so that I will be looking at him. “I want you to tell me right here right now that you are sure about Dean. Are you sure about marrying him, are you sure about the baby?” There is something in Kevin’s eye that makes me want to run and hide somewhere far away but instead of giving into the feeling, I just nod my head yes, swallowing the sudden rush of bile that made its way up my throat.

He continues to stare me down for a while before nodding and walking towards to exit. “I hope you’re positive, Castiel. Life is short, don’t live a regret. Come one, let’s graduate.” He walks out and I do too.

* * *

We graduate.

Three weeks later Kevin dies from cancer he had had all his life.

Dean, Meg, Charlie and I all get accepted into New York University, Kevin’s dream college in remembrance of him.

My stomach gets bigger by the month and now I'm four months pregnant.

Gabriel transferred to NYU and Lucifer has decided to move the whole household to New York with me.

Life is bittersweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have finished the high school arc of this story and now we move into college


End file.
